Growing up, you were the girl who always got called “Bossy”. It wasn’t that you were mean to the other kids on the playground when you told them what to do, it was just that you always had the best ideas and everyone else’s ideas were stupid. Very simple. Oh they tried to beat you down, crush your spirit and force you into a box. They wanted you to play Pretty Princess Tea Party, but you were never a big fan of Pink. No, you wanted to play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with your brothers, and you wanted to be Leonardo, because he is the leader and all the other Turtles have to listen to what he says. “Girls can’t be leaders.” Even when you were six, something about that statement seemed fishy. “Girls can’t even be turtles.” You were fairly sure that female turtles did exist in nature, somewhere. “You should be April O’Neill.” Ok, fine you thought, “How do I be April O’Neill?” “Go over there and pretend like you got kidnapped by Shredder, and wait for us to come rescue you.” There was just so much wrong with that suggestion, but you went along with it, even though there weren’t enough boys for one of them to play as Shredder, so the main bad guy was the villain by absentee ballot, or something. Also you only had three brothers, so they had to rope in Emmitt, the nerdy fat kid with asthma from next door, to play as Donatello, and his parents didn’t own a TV (it was against their religion or something) so he didn’t even know what Ninja Turtles were. Add to that the Foot clan was invisible, for some reason, so you were just watching four boys with neckties tied around their foreheads, karate kicking the air for twenty minutes until one of them came and “rescued you.” It was totally lame. This Halloween, however, will be the opposite of totally lame, because you finally get to be Leonardo. And this time, the boys will all learn to take orders from a true leader.
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