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Posted on Jul 6, 2016

8 Cheerleaders You Wouldn’t Want to Mess With

8 Cheerleaders You Wouldn’t Want to Mess With

Cheerleader costumes are probably the most common subset of sexy costumes around, and from the sidelines of every major sports game to the spotlights of TV shows and movies, it seems like they’re everywhere. That doesn’t mean they’re all just pretty faces, though. Each of the cheerleaders in this post is cheery for sure – but we wouldn’t want to get in any of their ways.

Here’s our list of the most badass cheerleaders of all-time.

 

Juliet Starling (Lollipop Chainsaw)

juliet-lollipop-chainsawGrasshopper Manufacture

Lollipop Chainsaw is a hack-and-slash style action adventure game, with more than enough over-the-top zombie blood and gore to last anyone quite a while. The protagonist and player character, Juliet, gratuitously fulfills just about every visual cheerleader stereotype while administering the game’s gratuitous violence at the same time. There’s a definite functional bonus to short skirts and tight tops – less fabric to get in the way of chainsaw decapitations and shotgun headshots.

Lollipop was also actually written by James Gunn, too, who was the writer on the 2004 remake of the George A. Romero classic, Dawn of the Dead. The game’s grindhouse-style trailer is just another homage to the genre, too, and really brings a new meaning to the term “bloodlust.”

 

Jennifer Check (Jennifer’s Body)

jennifers-bodyFox Atomic

In the 2009 comedy-horror film Megan Fox: The Movie, Megan Fox plays Jennifer, a high school cheerleader who fits all the clichés one would expect – super popular and superficial, to name a couple. Events in the movie take a turn for the mildly interesting when a Satanic ritual transforms Jennifer into a demon that starts murdering and eating the people in her town. Boys at school that attempt to take Jennifer out on dates end up killed and disemboweled. Eventually, Jennifer is killed herself, but not before the evil spirit inside of her finds a new host to set up a sequel.

 

Mariko Konjo (Ranma ½)

mariko-ranma-12Kitty Films

Ranma is a classic anime series and manga serial with ties to both the martial arts and rom-com genres. As the captain of the cheerleading team at Seisyun High School, Mariko uses her cheer equipment to stun crowds as well as enemies. Typically, her batons are used less for twirling, and more for stealthily knocking out opponents. Being able to take out most of her adversaries before they even know what hit them makes Mariko one of the most intelligent and cunning in the show, despite her stereotypical “valley girl” mannerisms and appearance.

 

Sakura Kinomoto (Cardcaptor Sakura)

cardcaptors-sakuraMadhouse

More anime! You can never have too much, honestly. The English-language dub of this series, re-titled “Cardcaptors” for North America, was pretty popular in the early 2000s. Sakura, the main character, is a star athlete and cheerleader at her school – she’s also been tasked by the supernatural being Cerberus to seal away ancient magic within special cards and guard their powers, because anime. While hunting down each new magic being with her friend Tomoyo (Madison in the translation), Sakura often wears different costumes, which basically makes Cardcaptor Sakura the ultimate series for cosplayers.

 

Lexi Bunny (Loonatics Unleashed)

lexi-bunny-loonaticsWarner Bros. Animation

From anime, now to Western animation – we also mentioned Lexi and her counterpart Ace in our list of 15 badass bunnies, but Lexi was a cheerleader, too. Before the event that gave the Loonatics their superpowers, she was a member of the Acmetropolis University cheer team, and her natural acrobatic abilities were enhanced when she was given powers. She’s also the only cheerleader on this list that can shoot lasers, which is obviously extremely important for many reasons.

 

Buffy Summers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

buffy-the-vampire-slayer-movie20th Century Fox

When the Buffy character was adapted into the 1997 TV show of the same name, Sarah Michelle Gellar didn’t play a cheerleader, but in the original movie from 1992, Kristy Swanson did. The other main difference between the two is simply that the movie is more of a comedy than a drama – Joss Whedon wanted to write Buffy as a darker fantasy story from the get-go, but the film ended up going in a different direction.

Movie Buffy was still every bit as Slayer-y as TV Buffy, though. She made plenty of use of the classic wooden stake through the heart, as well as improvised weapons like a DIY flamethrower made from a can of hairspray.

 

Dolph Ziggler (WWE)

dolph-ziggler-wwePhoto by miguel.discart, via Wikimedia Commons

Hey, male cheerleaders are people, too. We apologize for any possible confusion though – Dolph is a multi-time WWE world champion and former Money in the Bank winner, but The Show Off’s current gimmick in the world of pro wrestling has nothing to do with cheerleading.

His last one did though: dolph-ziggler-nicky-spirit-squadPhoto by Lori Hurley, via Wikimedia Commons

Remember the Spirit Squad? They were the most villainous tag team in the WWE in 2006, doing the bidding of Mr. McMahon against the likes of John Cena, Triple H, and Shawn Michaels – and that’s Dolph there, on the left (though he went by “Nicky” back then).

Shockingly, a stable of male cheerleaders didn’t get over too well with an audience comprised mainly of men, children, and man-children. So, despite holding the tag team titles for the better part of a year, the Squad was disbanded in 2007 with its members heading back to independent and developmental territories. Ziggler is the only one of the five still employed by the WWE today.

 

Claire Bennet (Heroes)

claire-heroesNBC Universal

Heroes’ original run ended in 2010, and Hayden Panettiere’s breakout role as Claire Bennet with it, but a new miniseries called Heroes Reborn will be expanding on the story later this year, so it’s still relevant in our minds. Plus, Claire’s mutant superhero power of rapid cell regeneration makes her the most badass cheerleader we can think of — the images of her breaking bones and walking through fire in her cheerleader uniforms are still iconic pieces of TV. With a healing factor to put Wolverine and Deadpool to shame, she survived everything from falls to car wrecks to Y-incisions on the autopsy table. Here’s the official YouTube clip of that one, which features Claire manually zipping her skin-parka back together.

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